I’ve encountered countless families desperately seeking recognition for the inadequate practices they have faced during adoption crises.
These issues are not isolated—they are systemic problems that need urgent attention.
In one conversation, I’m told that change takes time; in another, I’m told I need to build a wider approach to change policy. In another, I’m reminded that change only comes through members in the House. In yet another, I’m criticised for raising the issue. Then, I get nods and agreements that things are awful and need to change—but everyone goes back to their usual business.
Not one comment or opinion deters me. Why?
If we don’t take action, the numbers of adopters whose lives are being ground down will continue to increase—lives destroyed due to failings, lives broken by flawed systems and broken promises. There is a clear impact on recruitment, which is already in crisis, and if we don’t act now, the situation will worsen.
We must also consider the impact on children in care, particularly as there are substantial issues within foster care recruitment, as well as challenges faced by Special Guardianship Order (SGO) and kinship carers. If this system doesn’t change, the number of children removed from birth parents and placed in residential care will continue to rise sharply. What was once an option for hard-to-place teenagers is now increasingly being used for children of all ages, including young primary school children. This is unacceptable.
We must also ask: what will happen to recruitment numbers for fostering and adoption, already at an all-time low, when adopters and foster carers are treated so poorly? The reputation of the system—and its failure to properly support these families—is taking a huge hit nationwide.
Our children deserve better. They cannot continue to be failed by a system that is not equipped to meet their needs. The current system isn’t working for them or for their families.
What is happening to adopters in crisis is wrong—it’s unlawful and a violation of our human rights.
The injustice of this situation is appalling. Social workers, who lack proper training in areas like psychology, neuroscience, and psychotherapy, should not be leading these aspects of social care. Their lack of expertise puts families at risk, often leading to misdiagnoses and inappropriate interventions that only escalate the crisis.
These are not just theoretical issues; they are the lived experiences of countless families, and they are being ignored far too often.
Here are the core problems we continue to face:
1.Lack of Timely Interventions: Instead of receiving the support we need, social workers often escalate crises, condemning us when we ask for help and losing sight of the child’s needs.
2.Inaccurate and Misleading Reporting: Our voices are often dismissed, and inaccurate reports are used to shape decisions about our families. Even when we provide clear evidence to correct these errors, they are ignored. This reflects a systemic failure to recognise the realities families are facing.
3.Misaligned Qualifications: Social work qualifications do not cover the necessary fields like psychology, neuroscience, or psychotherapy, yet social workers are given the power to make critical decisions about our families’ lives. This lack of expertise puts children and families at risk.
4.Disregard for Victim Status: As adopters, we often endure abuse from our children, yet our pain and the children’s experiences are overlooked. The system fails to recognise our realities, applying a biased lens that dismisses our suffering.
5.Biased Assessments: Past positive assessments or feedback from family members are often ignored. Social workers tend to focus on negatives without sufficient evidence, raising concerns about biased judgments that overlook the complexity of our situations.
6.Neglect of Family History: Social workers and authorities too often ignore vital family history, including trauma that affects the children. This leads to misinterpretations of normal behaviours as parental failings, and crucial trauma symptoms are overlooked.
7.Overlooking Children’s Needs: The trauma children experience is often ignored during assessments, and their needs are not prioritised. We are failing to safeguard children when we don’t listen to their voices or address their underlying issues.
8.Lack of Collaborative Working: Despite requests for multi-agency collaboration, authorities fail to facilitate joint efforts for proper assessments. Without collaborative working, evaluations remain incomplete and biased, further harming families.
9.Minimisation of Family Wellbeing: The mental health challenges we face as adopters, as well as the trauma our children carry, are framed as deficiencies rather than areas where we need support. This only worsens the situation instead of offering relief.
The need for systemic reform has never been more urgent. Our children, families, and carers deserve a system that supports them, not one that adds to their burdens.
I am determined to raise the profile of PATCH so that our voices are heard. We need:
•Fair thresholds for assessments to ensure equity and consistency.
•Independent checks on social work reports and statements to ensure accuracy and context.
•Recognition of adopters’ views as integral to the decision-making process.
•Trauma-trained professionals to be involved in care planning, taking a holistic approach to the family and child’s needs.
•Empathy and compassion to be shown towards adopters and children, as we work together to support healing and permanence.
The current system is broken, and no number of meetings, nods, or empty agreements will fix it. It’s time for real change. The children and families affected deserve better, and we must push for that change, no matter the barriers.
If you want to support the PATCH campaign and help make this change happen, please reach out to us at patch@ourpatch.org.uk.
#AdoptionCrisis #SupportAdopters #RealChangeNeeded #TraumaExpertCare #CareForAllinPermanencyForChildren