If only they had listened…………

 my children would still live with their siblings.
 my daughter would not have PTSD due to the violence from my son, which professionals said they could not see.
 if only they had listened, my daughter would be safe at home with the rest of our family and my life would not be destroyed.
 my son would not have had to leave his family because he could not manage his anger.
 my daughter would have been diagnosed at 3.5 instead of 15 with FASD, ASD with adhd and odd.
 our daughter would have had a proper diagnosis of attachment disorder and developmental traumas, an EHCP and we may have been able to stop the severe child to parent/child to sibling violence,
 my child would have had the right support from an early age rather than expecting us as his parents to be his therapist and send us on parenting courses as if it is our fault.
 my children would have had access to sensory and attachment therapy while their brain was still developing.
 my children’s neurodiversity would have been picked up sooner so that we could have better understood them and advocated for them instead of them feeling shame and now have better their life chances.
 our daughter would have been given the right support from the beginning, now a highly angry teenager who will not respond to any intervention.
 my son would have got support aged 11 instead of waiting until he’s 14 and missing a whole lot of school.
 my daughter might still be able to access education.
 my daughter would not have been denied an appropriate education or marginalised from mainstream life with several police investigations ongoing.
 my daughter could have been assessed as LD and been offered a special school instead of experiencing two permanent exclusions and having no school place for a year, leading to me having to give up work for a year.
 we could have avoided the school suspension.
 our son could have stayed with his friends in mainstream instead of spending too many traumatic months in a damaging SEMH.
 my child would not have had to deal with another rejection.
 my son would not have had to deal with another rejection due to S20.
 my daughter would not have made her 15th move by the age of 11.
 my son would not have chosen to move back in with birth family, where is now doing drugs.
 my daughter would have had tools to control her anger.
 my daughter would not be experiencing fresh trauma witnessing so much violence in our home.
 my daughter would not have ended up in a residential unit on 2 to 1 for the last five years.
 my daughter would not have suffered such low self-esteem and not have self-harm and overdosed.
 my son would not have made such bad choices, and he may not be under investigation for sexually related crimes.
 my daughter might not be NEET since 16 and would not have a long criminal record and a suspended sentence.
 my son would not have experienced feelings of suicidal thoughts or engaged in self-harming behaviours.
 my son would not have attempted to take his own life aged just 11, and still they did nothing!
 my children could have had the childhood they had a right to and deserved.
 our children would not be going through all the trauma they have been put through because all professionals lost their hearing at once!
 we would not have taken nearly 4 years to see the ‘professionals’ we need.
 our son would not have spent the last 18 months at home languishing in his bedroom whilst the grown-ups in his life are burnt out and experiencing blocked care.
 my son still be at home with his family and friends who miss him immensely.
 my son wouldn’t worry about being ‘kicked out.’
 my son would not have had to suffer the loss of a second family.
 my daughter would have had mental health support before her adoption broke down.
 our children would not have faced the additional trauma of an adoption disruption aged 2.
 my child would not be estranged from us and a young single mom!
 to me morning after morning begging for help, respite, after night after night of being kicked, head butted, sworn at, mocked, beaten physically and emotionally.
 to me when I saw the look in his eyes, as he stood over me on my bed, at 12 years old, kicking me in the stomach repeatedly, laughing while he was doing it, with a look in his eyes that screamed pain, confusion, anger, so much anger, but most importantly, a look that told me that one day, he will seriously harm someone else, most likely a female. I tried so hard to stop that from happening, but nobody listened.
 to me when I said I couldn’t take it anymore, I needed a break. You need a course they said. You need to sort your mental health out they said. You are a harmful parent they said.
 if only they’d listened to me, when I begged them for help for him, because I knew if he didn’t get help, he would go on to harm others.
 we might not be where we are now. Where he is seriously harming other people. Females. I saw that look in his eyes, I knew.
 my heart wouldn’t be completing breaking right now, and his life might not be spiralling out of control. If only.
 then they could havr intervened earlier, they could have acknowledged the damage caused by their lack of transparency and we might still have our daughter and a relationship with our son.
 our family of 4 would all live in the same house.
 life would not have become so unmanageable and unsafe which led to the heart-breaking decision to end.
 understood and provided the support that our family needs life would not be so difficult for everyone.
 my husband and I would not be living with the guilt of it all.
 we would have had support and understanding instead of ignorance and blame!
 we would not be where we are, burnout in full swing crisis, lost and losing hope.
 we would not have been physically assaulted.
 they would have accepted I knew my young person better than a social worker and our family may not have been decimated.
 we would not be raising our grandson; he would be with his mother.
 we would not have had extensive time off work due to mental health problems dealing with ‘professionals’ who did not want to listen and blamed us.
 we would not have had to give up our jobs, we would not have been pushed to breaking point.
 parents and carers may not feel petrified that their child will be responsible for a future atrocity.
 our beautiful home would not have got absolutely trashed.
 we would not have spent 2 years in court fighting for our family and had to pay a lot of money.
 they would have taken away his as financial capacity and he would not have given away his inheritance and his child trust fund within 1 month of turning 18.
 they would have saved at least £1 million of taxpayer’s money.
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